It's a radio show, it's a state of mind: Bat Guano's SwaG!
Hear SwaG! Wednesday's, 9 p.m. Eastern, live on the Web through WIDR.
"There's an old saying in Tennessee -- I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee -- that says, fool me once, shame on -- shame on you. Fool me -- you can't get fooled again." --George W. Bush, Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002
Due to the current situation, strong language is required. This site is now rated: R

SwaG!

Free SwaG!-like Music
List of swingin' sites that give it away.

SwaG! Crap!
Fashions, coffee cups, etc.

More Stuff
(sites we steal links from):
Plastic
Cursor
Talking Points Memo
Atrios
Metafilter
Obscure Store
Boing Boing
PCL LinkDump
Fark
Kalamazoo Blog

Mr. Guano rants without shame
in public on Plastic.

Better radio than SwaG!: WFMU



Brains from:

before 11/3/04
before 3/22/04
before 8/27/03
before 1/1/03
before 9/7/02
before 3/22/02
before 12/17/01
before 10/29/01
before 7/18/01
before 4/24/01
before 12/8/00


Mr. Guano's
email address:

Use "batswag"
and "@"
and "gmail.com".

Your Radio Friend, Bat Guano.
 

Monday, March 14, 2005
03:55 p.m.

SwaG! Says So Long to Pitas, Goes Bloggitty Blog Blogger

Go here for our continuing drama...

It is time to move on. We would like to thank Pitas for being such a gracious and fairly trouble free host. We are leaving only because Blogger gives a means for readers to comment, satiating the hunger of all Bat Guano's fans to be able to tell him to go screw himself. Plus, each post is linkable.

So, Go here, and see what's new in the world of SwaG!.

Monday, March 14, 2005
11:31 a.m.

Fun things at RecordBrother.

Monday, March 14, 2005
10:52 a.m.

Another fun Scopitone, some French guy yelling, Ho! Eh! Hein, Bon!

Friday, March 11, 2005
01:48 p.m.

Now that we've spent two years and over 1,500 deaths, do you remember the reasons for the war?

Wednesday, March 9, 2005
12:30 a.m.

I could've seen Guitar Wolf last weekend in Detroit, but I did not. I'm old, lame, have no money... whatever. I got swollen lymph nodes on my neck (a strange reaction to the vacating illness of February). I'm up past my bedtime. I miss "Barnaby Jones."

Tuesday, March 8, 2005
11:43 p.m.

Okay, in just a few minutes from the time you see on this post, you can go here, and get your free sample broadcast of the "Green Slime" hour that follows the free sample broadcast of SwaG! of 3/2/05. Go to the column to your right. You'll find it.

Monday, March 7, 2005
08:25 p.m.

I think it's called a "podcast."

Go here, find link to a sample hour of SwaG!. Look at the end of the "Free SwaG!" column to your right.

For all you who search for it here, the third song is Jack Kittel's "Psycho." You know, the snow just wasn't melting, and I was just getting a little shack happy, and then I started messin' with a knife...

Monday, March 7, 2005
03:54 p.m.

Who knew that all horses wanted to do was play with their Horseballs.

Monday, March 7, 2005
03:48 p.m.

"John Bolton is the kind of man with whom I would want to stand at Armageddon, if it should be my lot to be on hand for what is forecast to be the final battle between good and evil in this world." -- Jesse Helms

I'm sure Jesse was pissed that he missed the final battle, but we might be lucky enough to catch it when Bolton becomes our U.N Ambassador.

We're all gonna die.

Monday, March 7, 2005
09:32 a.m.

"You're a nut! You're crazy in de coconuts!"

Found here, along with fun People Like Us stuff.

Sunday, March 6, 2005
03:24 p.m.

This is how they did things in the old Soviet Union. What a country!

Saturday, March 5, 2005
02:40 p.m.

Get Drunk an' Cook like a musherfluper...

Saturday, March 5, 2005
02:18 p.m.

Pork 'n' Beans, the Source of Evil

Saturday, March 5, 2005
02:16 p.m.

...so screw you, PETA!

Saturday, March 5, 2005
02:01 p.m.

Now I Wanna Be Your Dog!

Just going through all these old ads, coming up with my own amusing captions, entertaining only to myself.

Friday, March 4, 2005
02:35 p.m.

In Tribute, the Album Covers of Martin Denny

There would've never been anything tiki without him.

Friday, March 4, 2005
02:21 p.m.

Dino Ironbody

Thursday, March 3, 2005
11:41 p.m.

Martin Denny, RIP

Thursday, March 3, 2005
07:08 p.m.

Mmmm... Tater Pokes

"A Poke in the mouth..."?

Thursday, March 3, 2005
05:44 p.m.

Mmmm... Tater Dog, Dinner on a Stick

Thursday, March 3, 2005
03:53 p.m.

Heh, heh, heh...

Thursday, March 3, 2005
03:18 p.m.

New Get Your War On

"I'm going to keep chanting until Jesus tells me I can forget about Iraq."

Thursday, March 3, 2005
02:19 p.m.

Now that Hunter's gone, what do we got? Swine and whores.

Thursday, March 3, 2005
03:23 a.m.

They can't improve on a classic.

Thursday, March 3, 2005
01:06 a.m.

I've eaten rabbit. Tastes like chicken.

Thursday, March 3, 2005
01:01 a.m.

What's up with Greenspan?

Wednesday, March 2, 2005
03:45 a.m.

This Place Sucks

Tuesday, March 1, 2005
03:14 p.m.

Don't like the filthy language you hear on pay TV and on pay sat radio? Maybe you could show your displeasure by not purchasing these services, or by not getting, or blocking, the really naughty channels.

Or you could turn to the government to clean it all up.

"Cable is a much greater violator in the indecency area," the Alaska Republican (Senate Commerce Committee Chairman Ted Stevens) told the National Association of Broadcasters, which represents most local television and radio affiliates. "I think we have the same power to deal with cable as over-the-air" broadcasters.

You should know that NAB members are the stations in competition with cable and pay radio. They would like very much to force their competitors to get rid of their unfair advantages.

Monday, February 28, 2005
08:32 p.m.

Prairie Bitch!

(the above and below links were stolen from PCL, which is everything I'll never be...)

Monday, February 28, 2005
08:24 p.m.

Unisex!

Thursday, February 24, 2005
11:52 a.m.

It's a crazy idea. Get someone interesting on the air, have him play all sorts of music.

Monday, February 21, 2005
01:57 p.m.

... and Daily Kos.

Monday, February 21, 2005
01:27 p.m.

Moment of silence? No, just a list of people ranting in the dark... Plastic, Metafilter, Fark.

Thursday, February 17, 2005
11:25 a.m.

Welcome to the government engineered fake news era.

Yes, it mentions the prostitute that got into the White House.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005
11:19 a.m.

Okay, I've been sick, ignoring my duties as a rabid Bush-hater.

I assume you've heard the one about the media whore who turned out to actually be a whore.

Friday, February 11, 2005
02:56 p.m.

Forget calling this another "---gate", it's the Manchurian Beefcake scandal.

Thursday, February 10, 2005
01:46 p.m.

An important point:

From BRUCE BARTLETT: Having worked in the White House, I can assure everyone that not only would it be impossible to get a White House pass using an alias, it is impossible even to get past the gate for an appointment using an alias. Thorough FBI background checks are required for the former and a picture ID is necessary for the latter. Therefore, if Gannon was using an alias, White House staff had to be involved in maintaining his cover.

Thursday, February 10, 2005
10:27 a.m.

All the '80s Communist era Estonian commercials you could ever want to watch.

Thursday, February 10, 2005
01:59 a.m.

Let's say David Lynch and PETA made a commercial for ground chicken...

Wednesday, February 9, 2005
02:49 p.m.

And even more impeachably hotter than man-on-fake-reporter sex, there's this:

White House-credentialed fake news reporter "Jeff Gannon" from fake news agency "Talon News" was cited by the Washington Post as having the only access to an internal CIA memo that named Joseph Wilson's wife, Valerie Plame, as a covert CIA agent. Gannon, in a question posed to Wilson in an October 2003 interview, referred to the memo (to which no other news outlet had access, according to the Post). Gannon subsequently has been subpoenaed by the federal grand jury looking into the Plame outing.

Wednesday, February 9, 2005
02:44 p.m.

Rep. Slaughter of NY writes Bush a, Yo, wassup with the wannabee reporter "who may have ties to the promotion of the prostitution of military personnel"?

Wednesday, February 9, 2005
10:35 a.m.

Jeff Gannon gets embarrassing questions, so he just quits.

One hour prior to his resignation, MediaCitizen sent an interview request to the now former correspondent. As part of the request, I outlined a series of questions regarding Gannon's background in journalism, his relationship to members of the White House staff, to Talon News' parent company GOPUSA, as well as to the Wilmington company, Bedrock Corporation, which is the registered owner of the websites in question. Gannon resigned within an hour of receiving these questions. This was MediaCitizen's second request for an interview as a follow up to an earlier report.

To put this into context, the problem isn't so much he's behind hotmilitarystuds.com and likes to pose in his underwear, the problem is that he used a fake name to gain access to the White House as a "journalist." This is a major breach of security in what has been the most walled-off administrations ever. These guys kept people in the wrong t-shirts out of Bush's campaign rallies, but this guy -- who uses a fake name and looks to be the only member of his "news agency" -- gets to ask questions as a member of the press in the White House. Is it because he asked suckup questions and wrote suckup stories, is it because of some gay connection in the White House, or a little of both?

Wednesday, February 9, 2005
10:07 a.m.

Yma Sumac welcomes you!

I think the pictures show that she really wasn't from Wisconsin, as had been rumored.

Tuesday, February 8, 2005
06:47 p.m.

Jeff Gannon aka Jim Guckert, and Gay Smut

Tuesday, February 8, 2005
06:31 p.m.

The World of Jeff Ganon, or is that Jim Guckert, spinner of webs of festively conservative military men4men action, or is that JD Guckert, amateur underwear model?

Or is that the biggest gay Bush supporter in the press corps?

Tuesday, February 8, 2005
04:41 p.m.

Hillary Swank turns out to be a dude! And he punches out Jesus at the end!

Michael Medved, film critic/moralizing cocksucker, spoils "Million Dollar Baby," makes Roger Ebert cranky.

Medved feels moviegoers deserved to know what the movie is about, and that critics have been dishonest in not telling them. Medved has for a long time been a political commentator, not a movie critic, but he must remember from his earlier days that moviegoers do NOT want to be informed of key plot surprises, and write enraged letters to critics who violate this code. He says the studio concealed the ending because "no one would come" if they knew how it turned out. In fact, the movie is a great success because of word-of-mouth praise from people who have admired it and urged others to attend.

Tuesday, February 8, 2005
01:44 p.m.

If you saw "The End of the Century," the doc about the Ramones, then you know about Dee Dee King.

Saturday, February 5, 2005
05:49 p.m.

Oh, joy. Newly refurbished Scopitone site, with new Scopitones. Take a gander at the hilarious "Teenage Fallout Queen," and more forgotten prehistoric videos.

Thank you, PCL LinkDump.

Friday, February 4, 2005
09:23 p.m.

"You can't hurry good pizza."

During the dawn of the Cyber Age, people attempted to connect with others, anonymously, in an intimate manner, through "text chat." Some took advantage of this phenomenon for their own amusement...

Friday, February 4, 2005
11:54 a.m.

Bush Kisses Leiberman

Friday, February 4, 2005
09:55 a.m.

In Kalamazoo this weekend, "End of the Century: The Story of the Ramones" -- be there. All proceeds go toward WIDR.

Thursday, February 3, 2005
07:31 p.m.

Hey, Texans: Kinky Friedman should be your next governor.

Thursday, February 3, 2005
01:35 p.m.

Rude Pundit's State of the Union: "Suck It, Fuckers."

And the Rude Pundit is sick of hearing how "bold" is every fucking thing Bush proposes. If George Bush took a shit in front of the Lincoln Memorial, Orrin Hatch would appear on Fox "News" to declare how bold a shit it was and how mighty a loaf was pinched out and how are the Democrats going to deal with a President who is unafraid to take a dump with a stone Lincoln staring at him.

Thursday, February 3, 2005
09:54 a.m.

Somebody looks at the details of Bush's social security plan, does the math:

If a worker sets aside $1,000 a year for 40 years, and earns 4 percent annually on investments, the account would grow to $99,800 in today's dollars, but the government would keep $78,700 -- or about 80 percent of the account. The remainder, $21,100, would be the worker's.

Thursday, February 3, 2005
01:58 a.m.

That Lovesick Blues Boy selling Mother's Best Flower.

Thursday, February 3, 2005
01:13 a.m.

The sounds of Bigfoot.

Found on Boing Boing.

Tuesday, February 1, 2005
04:59 p.m.

More sweet, sweet tunes. Go to Pastor McPurvis', stare at the hair, scan the info, and just go right to "Hoochi-Coochi Man" (not the Muddy Waters version). Oh, man, that's funky.

Tuesday, February 1, 2005
11:05 a.m.

More on Charles Mauu:

CHARLES MAUU & THE ROYAL POLYNESIANS: Polynesia (Capitol US) sofc srw sol Vg+++/Vg+++ 300:- Rare, great and legendary authentic 1950s Polynesian exotica piece with a beautiful nude wahine sleeve! Charles Mauu was an actual Tahitian chief who also came to appear in 1950s Hollywood films like "The Road to Bali", "Pagan Love Songs" and "Hell Ship Mutiny". The music is not the regular tourist crap but awesome authentic native songs and dances of the south seas!

Tuesday, February 1, 2005
10:40 a.m.

The amount of audio blogs -- especially those with material of interest to SwaG!, mp3s from old records -- has exploded. Now it is time for SwaG! to give, instead of just take. This will be semi-regular event here.

So we present an old SwaG! favorite, the one that gets the calls from listeners who beg, "Where can I get that?!?" ... "Tamure" by The Royal Polynesians featuring Charles Mauu.

Who was Charles Mauu? The most info is found here: "...an actual Tahitian chief, administrator and judge. During a visit to America he participated in this recording and helped give it complete authenticity."

It's likely to be from around 1951. My copy is from "Hi-Fi Around the World, Music to See a Travel Agent By." It's a demonstration record -- something used to demo store stereos and/or to give away with purchases -- from the "Voice of Music" V-M Corporation of Benton Harbor, Mich., "World's Largest Manufacturer of Phonographs and Record Changers." All the songs are from various spots in the world, from New Orleans to Scotland and, "the South Pacific, where Trade Winds carry the rhythmic chant of an unspoiled people." This, of course, is the land of Tamure!

V-M reminds us that "This is a hi-fi world. Make the trip often. You have a magic carpet of melody here and remember, you need no passport to pleasure."

Ah, yes. As you listen to this enchanting chant, picture your host Bat Guano wearing nothing but a grass skirt and a smile, dancing about, unspoiled...

Monday, January 31, 2005
02:43 p.m.

Right wing freak creates new word. Use it in a sentence today!

I'm gonna... homosexualize you!

Saturday, January 29, 2005
03:17 p.m.

Machines

Friday, January 28, 2005
01:53 p.m.

"We've been taken over by a cult.

Friday, January 28, 2005
10:35 a.m.

A list of stuff, heard, but not rememberd by many, about Iraq.

Starting with:

In 1992, a year after the first Gulf War, I heard Dick Cheney, then secretary of defense, say that the US had been wise not to invade Baghdad and get ‘bogged down in the problems of trying to take over and govern Iraq’. I heard him say: ‘The question in my mind is how many additional American casualties is Saddam worth? And the answer is: not that damned many.’

And ending with:

I heard Attorney General John Ashcroft say, on the day of his resignation: ‘The objective of securing the safety of Americans from crime and terror has been achieved.’

I heard the president say: ‘For a while we were marching to war. Now we’re marching to peace.’

I heard that the US military had purchased 1,500,000,000 bullets for use in the coming year. That is 58 bullets for every Iraqi adult and child.

I heard that Saddam Hussein, in solitary confinement, was spending his time writing poetry, reading the Koran, eating cookies and muffins, and taking care of some bushes and shrubs. I heard that he had placed a circle of white stones around a small plum tree.

Friday, January 28, 2005
09:46 a.m.

Dick Cheney goes to the death camp looking like a schlub.

Thursday, January 27, 2005
11:14 p.m.

Th' ol' music 'all, 'emembered.

Thursday, January 27, 2005
11:08 a.m.

The Google cache of the PBS show featuring a rabbit and his lesbian friends Sugartime!

And they wanted to show this to children! Children!!! I don't know if that link is SFW -- you have been warned.

Thursday, January 27, 2005
10:55 a.m.

PBS show featuring a cartoon rabbit and his lesbian friends pulled under orders by Bush's new secretary of education, Margaret Spellings. This was her first official act as secretary.

Spongebob Squarepants refused to comment.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005
04:41 p.m.

Last night I wrote a detailed analysis of the DEVO video "Whip It" on Plastic. It was a bit off topic and no one on Plastic seems to care about my views on this matter. So I link to it here, as a pathetic call for attention.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005
01:11 p.m.

"Look, ma, I'm in a glossy magazine..."

New movie to come out on the Detroit scene. Watch the trailer, spot those Michigan folks you know and love. Hey! Was that Freddy Fortune?

Monday, January 24, 2005
08:15 p.m.

It's 1971, and you're a young man lookin' to make the scene. But your mom gets you this from the Sears catalog.

Monday, January 24, 2005
09:35 a.m.

On January 25, 1984, a little computer was born.

Friday, January 21, 2005
03:10 p.m.

His subjects greet their leader; CNN broadcasts shouts of "Fuck Bush!"

Friday, January 21, 2005
03:02 p.m.

Oh, yeah. Bedazzled is my new fave stop for fun things. It's Superfly, TNT, Tain't Nothin' To It.

Friday, January 21, 2005
02:48 p.m.

He deregulated corporations so fewer companies owed more media outlets, he enforced regulations so the public could be protected from boobies, butts, and the word "fuck," and now, Michael Powell will be leaving the FCC.

Two questions: What kind of high paying major media consulting/lobbying job do you think he'll get? What kind of Nazi will be put in his place?

Friday, January 21, 2005
12:03 p.m.

I don't know why, but I think of this video when I think of the current political climate. Maybe because I'm Buddy Rich when I fly off the handle. Which reminds me, I gotta shave.

Friday, January 21, 2005
10:52 a.m.

The Big Lebowski: Bowling for Buddha

....The only two who encounter the Dude without benefiting from his Dudeness are Donny, who dies, and Jesus Quintana, the pederast. Neither desires anything from the Dude. Buddhism offers enlightenment to those that seek it. Donny and the Jesus have no use for such things. Donny is a dullard and the Jesus (not Hay-soos, mind you) is the rather blatant symbol and poster boy for the perversions that have befallen other major religions, scandals that—while not unknown—have not so far become prevalent in Buddhism.

Dude: Jesus.

Quintana: You said it, man. Nobody fucks with the Jesus.

So Why Bowling?

Buddha’s life was a constant struggle for perfection. Bowling, a seemingly simple game where a big ball is hurled at ten wooden pins—just knock them down twelve times in a row—is a symbol for this same goal. Coen brother films often use circular symbols or themes, so using a perfectly round ball to achieve a perfect 300 game, in rented shoes no less, is actually representative of Buddhist principles. It’s more a competition with one’s self than with an opponent....

Friday, January 21, 2005
10:22 a.m.

The Madness of King George

I need a framed print.

Thursday, January 20, 2005
04:49 p.m.

ALL BOW DOWN TO OUR DARK MASTER! SATAN! SATAN! SATAN!

Thursday, January 20, 2005
12:08 p.m.

Seating Made Simple

Best of all, it's free!

Thursday, January 20, 2005
02:49 a.m.

I so needed to see this at 2:49 this Thursday morning.

The future indeed was a strange, but happy, place in the mind of Joe Meek. The band is The Tornados, who gave us "Telstar."

Thursday, January 20, 2005
01:02 a.m.

This is truly an amazing age. I'm watching "TV" on my computer, and the show ("The Daily Show") mentions a website that is obviously meant to be a joke. So I look it up, and there it is.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005
09:12 a.m.

Bushapalooza's gonna ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, January 17, 2005
05:23 p.m.

Martin Luther King Would Fuck Bush's Shit Up

Monday, January 17, 2005
04:16 p.m.

Blog of fun, not political bitchin': PCL LinkDump

Monday, January 17, 2005
11:04 a.m.

Ohhh... cute and smart. Oh, yeah, take those glasses off. No, leave your hair the way it is, all unkept like you were just rolling around in bed...

That's just disturbing. I'm so sorry.

Monday, January 17, 2005
08:56 a.m.

Next, Iran.

Sunday, January 16, 2005
09:16 p.m.

Remember those videos of al Qaeda training in Afghanistan that we've seen over and over so much so that they've become part of our reality....

Saturday, January 15, 2005
03:28 p.m.

Titan is all freaky cool, but what the hell is that on Mars?

Thursday, January 13, 2005
03:00 p.m.

I know this may not be new news to many, but Our President, George W. Bush, is a rotten motherfucker.

Why hold back the hate anymore?

Wednesday, January 12, 2005
12:10 p.m.

Now the idea of eating at Hardee's is even less appealing.

Wednesday, January 12, 2005
11:43 a.m.

Today is Bat Day.

Tuesday, January 11, 2005
08:16 p.m.

The highpoint of the music video artform must return. Whip it good.

Tuesday, January 11, 2005
02:39 p.m.

Oh, I think I'm... I'm... physically excited.

Tuesday, January 11, 2005
02:23 p.m.

"Ooh boo-hoo, I hate Windows, I keep getting viruses and spywear, and even Bill Gates can't escape the Blue Screen of Death, but Macs are too expensive.

Stop your bitching.

Tuesday, January 11, 2005
01:36 p.m.

Right-Wing Jesus Fans Soil Themselves

"I feel a strange kinship with Michael (Moore)," Mr. Gibson said. "They're trying to pit us against each other in the press, but it's a hologram. They really have got nothing to do with one another. It's just some kind of device, some left-right. He makes some salient points. There was some very expert, elliptical editing going on. However, what the hell are we doing in Iraq? No one can explain to me in a reasonable manner that I can accept why we're there, why we went there, and why we're still there."

Tuesday, January 11, 2005
10:58 a.m.

So, anyway, all these unsecured security webcams, and I have to stumble onto this dreary scene of a former Kalamazoo zombie mall. Oh, lucky day.

Tuesday, January 11, 2005
10:45 a.m.

Has somebody, I dunno... angered God somehow?

Monday, January 10, 2005
05:51 p.m.

A comprehensive list of fun, free music download sites.

Thursday, January 6, 2005
11:42 a.m.

What he said.

Thursday, January 6, 2005
11:18 a.m.

Leaked memo written by Karl Rove's deputy proves that Bush is going to try to phase out Social Security.

My plans for my Golden Years? Dog food and slum livin'!

Wednesday, January 5, 2005
01:35 p.m.

Feel like you're being watched?

Someone found out that you can Google security cams.

Sunday, January 2, 2005
02:46 p.m.

'When we do this,' he said. 'We lose.'"

Iraq=Vietnam.

Friday, December 31, 2004
07:48 p.m.

Looking for free TV? Try Concrete TV.

And for the kids, here's Ringwald and Molly.

Thursday, December 30, 2004
02:46 p.m.

Fun Found Photos on Flickr

Thursday, December 30, 2004
12:34 p.m.

Two words I wouldn't expect the government to spend $7.5 mil on: Gay Bomb

Wednesday, December 29, 2004
03:16 p.m.

The song of the day. Hank Handy crams 40 Beatles songs into one.

Wednesday, December 29, 2004
02:52 p.m.

The tsunami disaster death toll could reach 100,000 people. Think 33 9/11s happening at once around the US, when you read this.

Wednesday, December 29, 2004
12:49 p.m.

I have to find this movie.

And more on "The World's Greatest Sinner."

Thursday, December 23, 2004
01:23 a.m.

The Dirty, Dirty, Olympics

All you need are a few letter-writers, and you too can cause the FCC to spend tax dollars to investigate Greek male statue dingus and possible boobie sightings.

Thursday, December 23, 2004
12:52 a.m.

Bill O'Reilly makes Baby Jesus cry.

Wednesday, December 22, 2004
10:31 a.m.

Oh, what the fuck...

Wednesday, December 22, 2004
09:57 a.m.

Oh, joy. Bollywood for the Skeptical, where you'll find "more like that sweet tune from the beginning of Ghost World!"

Tuesday, December 21, 2004
01:11 p.m.

Some reading for your Zappa Day celebrations.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004
12:41 p.m.

Robert Novak: Oh come on, Mr. Zappa. Do you really believe this country is headed toward a fascist theocracy?

Zappa: Yes.

From here, where we learn that today would've been Frank Zappa's 64th birthday.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004
11:46 a.m.

Bad Santas, Terrified Children

Tuesday, December 21, 2004
11:02 a.m.

News story on the stuff below.

The White House denies everything.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004
10:50 a.m.

The two-page e-mail that references an Executive Order states that the President directly authorized interrogation techniques including sleep deprivation, stress positions, the use of military dogs, and "sensory deprivation through the use of hoods, etc." The ACLU is urging the White House to confirm or deny the existence of such an order and immediately to release the order if it exists. The FBI e-mail, which was sent in May 2004 from "On Scene Commander--Baghdad" to a handful of senior FBI officials, notes that the FBI has prohibited its agents from employing the techniques that the President is said to have authorized.

Another e-mail, dated December 2003, describes an incident in which Defense Department interrogators at Guantánamo Bay impersonated FBI agents while using "torture techniques" against a detainee. The e-mail concludes "If this detainee is ever released or his story made public in any way, DOD interrogators will not be held accountable because these torture techniques were done [sic] the ‘FBI’ interrogators. The FBI will [sic] left holding the bag before the public."

The document also says that no "intelligence of a threat neutralization nature" was garnered by the "FBI" interrogation, and that the FBI’s Criminal Investigation Task Force (CITF) believes that the Defense Department’s actions have destroyed any chance of prosecuting the detainee. The e-mail’s author writes that he or she is documenting the incident "in order to protect the FBI."

Tuesday, December 21, 2004
10:46 a.m.

New Get Your War On

Monday, December 20, 2004
06:04 p.m.

A Case of Botfly Infestation. "Mark said he could see the surprised look on the Doc's face when he exclaims 'It's alive'!"

Monday, December 20, 2004
11:07 a.m.

Plans for Operation Reoccupation Washington shown to the public.

Rotten tomatoes, eggs, etc. will be considered WMD for a period of one month prior to Jan. 20. All carriers of unapproved signs and wearers of disrespectful t-shirts will be shot.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004
07:00 p.m.

Bill O'Reilly tells the CHRISTmas-hating Jews how it is.

But if they can't watch their mouths and shut up for once, and avoid a "backlash," O'Reilly is there for them.

"...there'll be a backlash against Jewish Americans that is unfair and that I'm just gonna have to redouble my efforts to make sure it doesn't happen."

Wednesday, December 15, 2004
02:58 p.m.

Have a Very Senor Tonto Christmas.

Download the song "Hooray for Santy Claus" and annoy everyone.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004
10:55 a.m.

On this day in 1795 the ten amendments to the Constitution, otherwise known as the Bill of Rights, were made law.

Sometime more recent, some assclown judge rules his court with a religious document sewn onto his robe.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004
10:30 p.m.

Ow! My frickin' ears!

It seems that today, Rush Limbaugh said the word "dick" in reference to the part of a man that makes babies.

You know what to do. Do what every good American moral Christian would do: Bitch to the FCC!

Tuesday, December 14, 2004
10:57 a.m.

Have I pointed out the greatest site for Kalamazoo punks with the greatest URL ever, www.ufodictator.com?

Tuesday, December 14, 2004
01:15 a.m.

Some pretty dangerous rap music...

Friday, December 10, 2004
09:54 a.m.

Apple gets panties in bunch over U2/Negativland iPod.

Friday, December 10, 2004
09:21 a.m.

Bill "Christmas-hating Jews need to go to Isreal" O'Reilly strikes back!

O'Reilly also claimed that the controversy surrounding his remarks is "why nobody sticks up for Christmas except me."

I know what he means. Everybody's afraid of those people who are all controlling the media. And banks.

More on the persecution of O'Reilly.

Thursday, December 9, 2004
11:46 a.m.

ICH LIEBE DER DANCEFUR KRIMINALZ!!!

Thursday, December 9, 2004
11:14 a.m.

More on the issue of Rumsfeld's "Suck it up, bitches!"

Wednesday, December 8, 2004
11:16 a.m.

Well that's the last meet'n'greet Rumsfeld's going to have with the troops.

Army Spc. Thomas Wilson, for example, of the 278th Regimental Combat Team that is comprised mainly of citizen soldiers of the Tennessee Army National Guard, asked Rumsfeld in a question-and-answer session why vehicle armor is still in short supply, nearly two years after the start of the war that ousted Iraqi President Saddam Hussein (news - web sites).

"Why do we soldiers have to dig through local landfills for pieces of scrap metal and compromised ballistic glass to uparmor our vehicles?" Wilson asked. A big cheer arose from the approximately 2,300 soldiers in the cavernous hangar who assembled to see and hear the secretary of defense.

Wednesday, December 8, 2004
11:03 a.m.

Fun with forms. The Parents' Television Council has made it easy to send your whiny little bitchings to the FCC. Let the FCC know what you want!

Amazing -- the PTC is behind 99.8 % (in 2003) of the complaints about naughty broadcasts to the FCC.

Wednesday, December 8, 2004
11:01 a.m.

Why? Because. www.GodFuckingDamnIt.com

Wednesday, December 8, 2004
10:39 a.m.

The coming Rapture is fantasy -- even Biblical scholars agree.

Click on the link or be... Left Behind!!!

Tuesday, December 7, 2004
02:19 p.m.

Hey! Don't like the way our Christian nation celebrates CHRISTmas? Then go to Israel, Jewboy!

That's pretty much what Bill O'Reilly said, anyway.

Tuesday, December 7, 2004
10:51 a.m.

1970's Trailer Tramps

Tuesday, December 7, 2004
09:22 a.m.

"It looks like they don't hate us for our freedoms -- but they really, really hate us, and maybe it's kind of obvious why...." -- The Pentagon

Monday, December 6, 2004
10:03 a.m.

Former police chief versus 20/20's shit journalism.

Saturday, December 4, 2004
10:23 a.m.

I want one.

Thursday, December 2, 2004
10:32 a.m.

Dubya, The Movie

... and only one man can play him.

Wednesday, December 1, 2004
02:33 p.m.

Buy the unauthorized iPod U2 vs. Negativland Special Edition and become a part of intellectual property history today!

Wednesday, December 1, 2004
12:24 p.m.

It would seem that "Orgy of the Dead" is on DVD.

You have heard this often on SwaG!. The movie is one of the few that is better heard than seen.

Sunday, November 28, 2004
02:28 p.m.

...I mean, Communist governments have historically been one-party governments. Which is an idea that Republicans seem to favor.

Sunday, November 28, 2004
02:22 p.m.

Communist America, as seen in a 1961 comic book, endorsed by J. Edgar Hoover.

Let's see, replace "Communist" in here with "Republican," and have people forced to go to church instead of being banned from church... you get the idea. There's even a bit were lawyers are taken out of business: "The government decides who is innocent or guilty without a lawyer's help!"

Friday, November 26, 2004
12:02 p.m.

Who can deny that it is all true?

Wednesday, November 24, 2004
01:54 p.m.

"Remember, self-control leads to loss of identity..."

"Mothman" from Coyle and Sharpe. Just a media-rich site I remembered to revisit, now that I got the bandwidth....

Wednesday, November 24, 2004
10:51 a.m.

G. Gordon Liddy, Hitler-lover.

Tuesday, November 23, 2004
01:58 p.m.

And just as the North Koreans are cutting back on the "Dear Leader" Kim Jong-il signs, we get this shit in America.

Tuesday, November 23, 2004
12:06 p.m.

Space Age Pop a go-go

Sunday, November 21, 2004
09:24 p.m.

Kevin Sites, who shot the video of the Marine killing a wounded Iraqi tells his side of the story in an Open Letter to Devil Dogs of the 3.1:

So here, ultimately, is how it all plays out: when the Iraqi man in the mosque posed a threat, he was your enemy; when he was subdued he was your responsibility; when he was killed in front of my eyes and my camera -- the story of his death became my responsibility.

The burdens of war, as you so well know, are unforgiving for all of us.

Sunday, November 21, 2004
04:26 p.m.

All about moonshine.

I got me a jar. Ain't drunk any, yet. Don't wanna get them jake walk blues.

Sunday, November 21, 2004
03:47 p.m.

With the new spending bill, Our President, George W. "Mandate" Bush, is working with Our Republican Congress to repair the damage done to this country by Jimmy Carter.

One expenditure buried in the bill is $2 million for the Navy to repurchase the presidential yacht Sequoia. The yacht was built in 1925 and first used by President Herbert Hoover. In the throes of Watergate, President Richard M. Nixon cruised the Potomac at night on the boat and brooded on his fate.

When President Jimmy Carter was trying to rid the White House of an imperial image, he had the yacht sold to a private group for $286,000. Ever since, it has been rented out for private parties.

Because there was no debate on the matter, there is no way to know whether President Bush wants the yacht and, if so, what he plans to do with it.

Saturday, November 20, 2004
03:46 p.m.

Not The Onion; this is real news:

A state-of-the-art rehabilitation center opening next year at Walter Reed Army Medical Center seeks to return more amputee soldiers to a place once thought impossible: the battlefield.

Thursday, November 18, 2004
11:40 a.m.

Though I love powerful space-age technology, I have to agree with this on the X-43A.

"I mean, you think babies cry on airplanes now..."

Wednesday, November 17, 2004
12:23 p.m.

The Grey Video

Vaguely related mini rant: Since we're entering a time where great battles are being fought over what is the true art, culture, values of the vastly disUnited States of America, this is a perfect example of an art medium for this era.

(Reality is under attack. Beware of others' "reality." Join the Reality Liberation Front today!)

Wednesday, November 17, 2004
12:05 p.m.

Sweet! WIDR's on this list! I'm not down with Skinny Puppy, but I'll be sure and find something like this to play tonight!

Tuesday, November 16, 2004
01:37 p.m.

Sometimes I wish I didn't live a sheltered life in the culturally safe Midwest, in bland West Michigan, surrounded by Methodists and the Dutch. Amish to the south of us, Gerald Ford's Grand Rapids to the north. Trapped by lakes and goddamned Indiana and Ohio, (I hate you fucking Bush lovers, I hate you I hate you.). It is on days like this when I see the grey outside the window that I wish I could've seen this Jewcore band I'm linking to now, which has a name that makes me laugh and forget my troubles.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004
11:54 a.m.

Sometimes we just get overwhelmed by everything, and get all caught up in the details.

Monday, November 15, 2004
11:33 a.m.

CIA purge.

Friday, November 12, 2004
01:29 p.m.

More freaky Flash: Wefail.com

Friday, November 12, 2004
11:05 a.m.

Billy Harvey

I don't know about his music, but he has the best Flash site ever.

Thursday, November 11, 2004
12:36 p.m.

About that black eye... no, I didn't run into a door.

Wednesday, November 10, 2004
01:20 p.m.

On the replacement for Ashcroft, Alberto Gonzales.

Just call him Mr. Abu Ghraib.

Wednesday, November 10, 2004
12:04 p.m.

From the creators of Found Magazine, Dirty Found. You may not want to look at this at work, or in front of the kids.

Wednesday, November 10, 2004
11:53 a.m.

Let the Eagle Soar, Like it's Never Soared Before!

America has now been wiped clean of terrorism and crime. And many civil liberties. And after 9/11 we now have 0 terrorist convictions. And one torturous song.

Monday, November 8, 2004
08:20 p.m.

Gay cowboys and go-go dancers? No, just a little something that should make you laugh.

From Scopitones.com which seems to have woken from its slumber.

Saturday, November 6, 2004
12:40 p.m.

We're going to need escapist entertainment in the coming months (years). So, I'm glad to see that at least Wes Anderson, Bill Murray and Owen Wilson have done their part.

Saturday, November 6, 2004
11:39 a.m.

"if I looking for frog him name is hopkin green frog..."

Friday, November 5, 2004
10:47 p.m.

Uh, people, might want to check on this...

COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) -- An error with an electronic voting system gave President Bush 3,893 extra votes in suburban Columbus, elections officials said.

Franklin County's unofficial results had Bush receiving 4,258 votes to Democrat John Kerry's 260 votes in a precinct in Gahanna. Records show only 638 voters cast ballots in that precinct.

Thursday, November 4, 2004
09:37 p.m.

A more detailed look at the colors of the counties of Purple America.

I don't know why Bush keeps talking about his "man date." Maybe he's gay.

Thursday, November 4, 2004
02:14 a.m.

Boing Boing has lots of encouraging words for this black day. Like this: WWADRD?

Thursday, November 4, 2004
02:05 a.m.

Not red and blue. Mostly purple.

Wednesday, November 3, 2004
02:12 p.m.

A good summary of our current feelings of fear and loathing.

One of the comments: "Bush likes to use old Texas sayings a lot. I have one for him. In Texas there is a saying that goes, 'Give em enough rope and they will hang themselves.' Well, I guess the Republicans have all the rope they need."

Wednesday, November 3, 2004
11:59 a.m.

Okay, now it's over.

For now.

Wednesday, November 3, 2004
11:06 a.m.

But, on the other hand, it's not over.

Wednesday, November 3, 2004
10:12 a.m.

Well, that was fun now, wasn't it?

Remember, it's not over. It's never over.

Looking on the bright side, now they have to clean up the mess. But, on the dark side, they aren't likely to clean anything up.